First place goes to BRITTNEY ANDERSON for her ideal hotel description. However, the other answers were wonderful and imaginative, so those commenters will receive consolation prizes.
Brittney’s description: My hotel would be animal-themed. Each room would have a massive African Cichlid species aquarium decorated like the species’ native Rift Lake. The color of each said species would, of course, match the decor of the room. Also present would be several species of African parrots who would welcome guests to the hotel in each guest’s native language, comment on how lovely he or she looks, and cleverly entice him or her into sharing food.
Oh wait… I think I just described my house….